A Comparative Analysis Of World Religious Philosophies

Taoism:

Shit happens

Confucianism:

Confucious says: "Shit happens"

Calvinism:

Shit happens because you don`t work hard enough

Buddhism:

If shit happens, it isn`t really shit

Zen:

What is the sound of shit happening?

Seventh Day Adventist:

No shit on saturday

Hedonism:

There`s nothing like a good shit happening

Hinduism:

This shit happened before

Mormon:

This shit will happen again

Islam:

If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah

Moonies:

Only happy shit really happens

Stoicism:

This shit is good for me

Protestantism:

Let shit happen to someone else

Catholisism:

Shit happens because you deserve it

Judaism:

So why does this shit allways happen to me?

Hare Krishna:

Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens Shit happens

Jehova's Witness:

Let us in, and we will tell you why shit happens

Atheism:

Shit happens for no apparent reason

Agnosticism:

Farts happen

Zarastrianism:

Shit happens half the time

Christian Science:

Shit is in your mind

Wicca:

Shit happens if you will it to happen

Scientology:

Feces occur

Existencialism:

Shit is, therefore it happens

Rastafarism:

LET`S SMOKE THIS SHIT!!!