"I think he's gonna be all right," she said as she allowed a smile to pass over her lips. It had only been two days since Lou had returned with the medication and they had been hopeful when Buck had seemed better already after the first day of taking the medicine. But none had dared to hope that he would get better this quickly. Ike smiled broadly back at her before turning to Teaspoon.

"I know, son, I know," Teaspoon winked and placed a hand on Ike's shoulder. He was pleased that everything seemed to turn out for the best. He had to admit that he'd been worried about Ike and Lou spending every possible hour at Buck's side. As a matter of fact, they always seemed to be together. If you wanted to find Lou, you just had to look for Ike and as sure as eggs are eggs, Lou would be close by. He had kept his promise to Lou and not told the others the reason that Lou wasn't taking any runs and asked the others to give her and Ike some room, but he couldn't help feeling relieved that with Buck getting better, both Ike and Lou could start chipping in. The others were already feeling the burden of handling the runs on four rather than seven riders.

Lou watched hem from the opposite end of the room. She too had noticed the improvement but Rachel's statement and Teaspoon smile didn't create any happy thoughts. Instead it sent her into a turmoil of emotions that she couldn't handle. She had made a lot of promises and lies since they had returned to the station, lies and promises that would be put to a test as soon as Buck recovered. She had uttered them in a desperate chance to buy herself more time, time that she now sensed was rapidly taken from her. And she wasn't ready. She was not ready for taking runs, nor to answer questions from Kid or Jimmy, nor was she ready to reveal what she had and was going through. Feeling her stomach turning into an aching hard lump, she simply stood there feigning a smile every time anyone turned to her.

For two days now she had managed to keep away from Jimmy's inquisitive eyes and Kid's more concerning ones and she slowly had begun to hope that maybe she would get through this. Ike still believed that she had talked to Rachel and Rachel had been too worried over Buck to notice anything special. But the uncertainty and fear still lingered on. She had even found herself noticing that even Noah gave her odd looks. Sometimes she feared that they already knew, but how could they? Maybe they could see it on her and that was why they were avoiding her occasionally. Lou had no way of knowing that Teaspoon had ordered the boys to leave her alone. Their behavior only made her more confused. One minute they were there, demanding answers she couldn't give and then they were avoiding her.

"I think we should tell the others." Rachel rose from Buck's side. "I'm glad we sent Cody after Doc just to be on the safe side, though."

"They will be pleased to hear this," Teaspoon said. "Are you two coming with us? Seeing that Buck seems to be resting, you might give the boys a hand with the chores."

<I'll help out,> Ike volunteered. He already felt a bit guilty for not doing his share. Lou stared at Teaspoon.

"I'll stay, if you don't mind," she said slowly.

Three pairs of eyes turned to her.

"Just in case," she added and shrugged. Teaspoon looked at the girl who looked down at her feet with her arms crossed over her chest. A feeling of uneasiness came over Teaspoon. This was not the Lou he knew, but although he used to say he knew women, he wasn't at all sure on how to handle Lou, so he simply nodded.

"All right, you can stay. But I want you to help out tomorrow - we need all help we can get to get the grain from Petersen's."

Lou nodded without looking at him and hesitantly Teaspoon followed the two others out the door.

She walked over to the window and saw Rachel walking over to hang up the laundry as Teaspoon and Ike continued to the barn. She was convinced that all of them thought that it was something wrong about her and that they looked down at her for not helping out. But how could she? It wasn't as if nothing had happen. Sighing she walked over to the chair Rachel had left and sat down. Pulling her knees up to her chin she sat there watching Buck. Buck was sleeping, and although he was still feverish he looked a lot better than he had a few days earlier. She tried to find happiness in the fact that he would be better, but it was hard. It wasn't fair, she pondered that she would be forced to feel this way. Why did Buck have to recover so quickly? If she only had been given a few more days---.

It wasn't that she wanted Buck to be sick for a very long time, it was just that she had so much depending on when he got better. For a second she wondered what would have happened if they hadn't run into Cody on their way back. She glanced over to the small table where Rachel had left the two bottles. It was clear that it was the medicine that had helped Buck and if Cody had been late returning to the station---. Don't be stupid, she told herself. Teaspoon would have sent somebody out to look for him and I should be happy for the fact that we found Cody. If Cody had been late then maybe Buck would've been worse. Lou tried desperately to think of something else, but the thought kept returning. What if they didn't have the medicine? What if ---? Then she ordered herself to stop. If they didn't have the medicine then Buck might be dead. Are you trying to kill Buck? she scolded herself in her mind - are you crazy? But in the next second she defended herself. Buck wouldn't die, he was too strong for that. So what if---. She could feel her heart beating faster. Buck would be all right - of course he would. It probably wasn't the medicine that had made him better.

She sat by Buck's side for more than an hour, her mind filled with mixed feelings and emotions. Finally she rose from the chair and walked over to the table, carefully avoiding looking at Buck. She picked up the two bottles and holding them with trembling hands she looked at them as if they were some sort of valuables. She was so caught up in her on emotions that she never heard the door open.

"Lou, I think we should talk." Jimmy's voice shattered the silence and startled Lou spun around as she lost the grip of the bottles. The two bottles slipped through her hands and Lou watched them slowly fall to the floor. If she had been fast she might have been able to save them, but she simply just stood there as the two bottles hit the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces, getting mixed with the powder that they had contained. In shock, Lou stared at the mess at her feet, before looking up with tear-filled eyes at Jimmy.

"What have you done?" Jimmy's voice sounded harsh in her ears. "Damn, it Lou, that was the medicine. How could you be so careless?" Jimmy immediately forgot what he had come to talk with Lou about. Lou felt herself breathing in short gasps as she tried to assess the situation, but at Jimmy's words she seemed to loose control.

"I did? I did? What do you mean by that? I didn't do anything - you scared me! It's your fault!" Lou wasn't aware that she had raised her voice.

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy stared at her. "What do you mean my fault?"

Outside Cody had returned with Doc and as Rachel and Doc walked back to the house they could hear the heated argument. Rachel frowned and quickly walked into the room with Doc at her feels.

"What are you doing?" she asked angry. "You should knew better than to fight in here - Buck need some peace and quiet and not---" She stopped talking as her eyes fell on the mess on the floor. For a second she just stared at it before returning to the two riders.

"What happened here?" she asked in a voice that trembled slightly.

Jimmy stared at Lou and Lou stared back at him, unable to do anything else.

"There's been an accident," Jimmy mumbled.

"An accident?" Rachel stared at them. "How could there be an accident with Buck's medication?"

"Jimmy scared me - it's his fault," Lou blurted out, fearing that Jimmy would accuse her.

"My fault?! Jimmy couldn't believe his ears. "I didn't drop the bottles!"

The raised voices woke up Buck and he stirred uneasily.

"Stop this!" Rachel called out. "Look now what you've done," she told them, "and you know Buck need all the rest he can get. Now get out!"

"Rachel---," Jimmy begun.

"Get out!"

Lou suddenly turned and rushed out of the room. Ignoring Ike and Teaspoon that were on their way back to the house she headed for the barn. She immediately went for Lightning's saddle and managed to drop it twice before she had placed it over the animal's back. She was tightening the girth when Kid rode in, returning from a run.

"Lou?" he asked surprised over seeing her in the stable preparing Lightning. She hadn't taken a run or even helped out since she came back. Lou was to worked up to even hear him. Kid walked over to her and not until he was standing close behind her did she notice him.

"Is there something wrong, Lou?" he asked as he saw her pale face.

"It's nothing," Lou replied between her teeth as she struggled with the girth. Finally managing to get in place she grabbed the reins and prepared to leave. Kid reached out and placed a hand on her arm.

"Lou, wait!"

Lou turned around at his touch as if she'd been burnt. Fear, anger and frustration shone from her face.

"Don't touch me! Don't you ever touch me again!"

Kid removed his hand and staggered back.

"I'm sorry, Lou," he stuttered and then continued. "Lou, what's wrong? Please tell me!"

"Just leave me alone! I don't want to see you near me again!" Lou swung herself up in the saddle and urged Lightning forward even before she was out of the stable. Kid watch her go and still stunned from what she had said it took him a few seconds before he found himself and ran out after her.

"Lou!" he called out but she was already too far away to hear him.

Jimmy had tried to follow Lou but was stopped by Teaspoon and Ike who wanted to know what was going on. Realizing that he wouldn't get pass them until he had told them, Jimmy reluctantly gave up pursuing Lou. After hearing Jimmy's story, Teaspoon took both boys back to the house where Rachel was cleaning up the mess on the floor. Doc was checking on Buck, who was awake and clearly suffered from severe headache. At their arrival Doc rose and motioned to them to go out in the kitchen.

"Doc?"

"Well, he does seem to have recover, but I believe it's the medicine. Now, without it, I can't tell you anything."

"What do you think we should do?" Rachel asked. "Shall we send another rider?"

Doc looked thoughtfully at them as he scratched his chin.

"Well, I have to admit that I'm no expert on these things." Doc sighed. "My suggestion is that if he gets worse, then you should take him to Ft. Laramie. That's all I can think of."

"Well that would save us some time," Teaspoon begun, but before he could finish Kid burst through the door.

"What's going on here?" he asked panting. "Lou just head out of here as the devil was after her!"

The others looked at each other.

"She broke Buck's medicine bottles," Rachel explained slowly. Ike turned and stared at her with a frown in his face.

"Why?" Kid asked bewildered.

"It was an accident." Rachel sighed.

"I better head out after her." Kid turned to leave when Ike grabbed his arm.

<I'll go.> He looked sternly at Kid.

"You, Ike? Why?" Kid asked.

<I'll go.> Ike repeated firmly.

Kid shook his head.

"I need to know what's wrong with her," he said when Jimmy suddenly stepped in.

"Let Ike go," he said to Kid's surprise. Ike smiled faintly at Jimmy and turned to Teaspoon.

"Go, Ike. We'll keep an eye on Buck."

Ike nodded and headed out the door before more objections were raised.

"All right," Teaspoon turned to the others, "there's nothing we can do here, so we better get back to what we were doing. Thanks for coming out here, Doc."

As they slowly walked out from the house, Jimmy took the bewildered Kid aside.