Jimmy turned quickly around again as he realised that Lou and Ike must have heard them and he was right. Lou and Ike stood up and watched the trees with suspicion. Jimmy found his voice. "They're here." Then he raised it and called out as he walked out into the glade.

"Lou, Ike! Are you OK?"

Ike stared at the two emerging and he could have jumped for joy.

<Everything's gonna be OK now, Lou! It's Jimmy and Noah!> Then he saw Lou's face and realised that everything wasn't OK. Not for her.

<There's nothing wrong with you.> He tried once more to assure her and she grabbed his hand, trying to tell herself that there was no danger. This was her friends, they would do anything for her. They would not turn their backs on her. But as they came closer, she felt uncertain, especially when she saw Jimmy. Jimmy, her best friend, the one who always had been there for her, always believing in her ability to take care of her. And now as he approached her, there was something that had changed. She saw it, but she didn't know what it was. But something was wrong. She felt a lump in her throat. This was not as she had hoped it would be and for a second she wanted to turn and run again. But then she saw Noah and he smiled at her as he shook his head before giving her a gentle hug.

"You look as if you've been to hell and back," he smiled relieved at finding them alive.

<We've been.> Ike signed as he smiled at them. <Now we want to get home.>

"We saw Garrett," Jimmy said, eyeing Lou. So far she hadn't said a word, and she seemed to keep a distance. She had never done that before and he wondered why.

<We had to kill him.> Ike signed with a determined face, that at least told Noah that it was all he was going to tell them for now.

"What happened?" Jimmy insisted, but Noah interrupted him.

"I think we better get back to Teaspoon and a doctor. That wound on your head doesn't look good, Ike, and I bet you both can use a bath. Besides Teaspoon will be relieved to see you. Could help him heal up better, I imagine."

Now Lou found her voice. "Isn't he OK?"

"He is now, but he was unconscious for a long time," Noah explained. "It's a long story, so I'll tell you on the way back. We got your horses."

<Garrett had more men.>

"We took care of them." Jimmy said shortly. He was worried over Lou and he wished he could speak to her alone, to find out was what wrong. And he wanted to know if he had heard right - Ike and Lou? And if this was the reason for the change in Lou? Maybe she just kept her distance because she wasn't ready to tell him about it? He couldn't help feeling a bit hurt at this thought. He had always thought of himself as Lou's friend and if she couldn't tell him something like that, then what kind of friend did she think he was?

Lou smiled faintly when she saw Lightning, she had feared that she would have lost her horse and she was relieved when he seemed all right. She slowly tried to adjust to have Noah and Jimmy around but she realised that she still felt weak and not completely herself so she kept a distance and stayed to close to Ike. Ike noticed it and it was with a heavy heart he realised that it would take time for Lou to recover. He only hoped it would be better when they got home. Home. It felt as an eternity had passed since the rain-laden day they had left the station with Teaspoon. He didn't realise that he longed to be back, where even a run would appear simple after what he had experienced in the mountains. He wished to be back to see Buck and even Cody. Jimmy too noticed how Lou kept to Ike and he became more and more certain that there was something between the two. He glared at Noah who was busy telling the others what had happened during their "hunt" for Garrett. Noah didn't appear to notice anything strange and Jimmy found it frustrating not to have any to ventilate his thoughts with. He would have to wait until they were back with Teaspoon. He was sure the older man would see the same thing as he had noticed. Kid would probably know what to say, but then Kid would be the last person he could discuss this with. He had no intention of hurting his friend. But then he hated to hurt Lou as well. Jimmy felt his headache return and he tried to get the thoughts out of his mind. Just get them back, he told himself. Just get them back.

It was a very relieved Teaspoon that met them outside the doctor's office. He told them off about the way they had headed out without him, but there was nothing that could take away the relieved and proud look on his face when he realised that Garrett and his gang were no more. Then he insisted on that the doctor was allowed to check on Ike and Lou, as they looked as if they needed it. They didn't object although Lou looked hesitant.

Teaspoon took this that she was afraid of giving up her cover and he told her that he would speak to the doctor. Lou nodded although her fear was of another kind. She was simply afraid of being alone with a stranger, especially a stranger that would ask her to take off her shirt. She looked over at Ike and when her turn came to have her bruises and wounds examined, Ike stayed in the room. None of the others knew about this since Ike had convinced them it was better they got them hotel rooms for the night. The doctor didn't seem to mind, instead he seemed sympathetic to the idea that the girl needed company. He had seen much during his years as a doctor in these small mountain towns and knew very well what could happen to a girl. Even so Lou sighed with relief as soon as it was over and she could leave. When Ike and Lou reached the hotel they found that Teaspoon had managed to get each of them a room, and when he asked if they wanted to eat first or take a bath, Lou was all for the bath. She needed to get clean in every sense of the word, but then she saw the disappointed looks on the other's faces, she changed her mind and agreed to have something to eat first. She tried to follow the conversations at the dinner and tried to enjoy the food, but she had no appetite. Jimmy felt more uneasy than before when he saw it and it didn't go unnoticed by Teaspoon.

"You're all right, Lou?"

"Yes, I'm just tired," she replied, hoping that he would believe it.

"I can imagine that," Teaspoon smiled at her and then he turned to Ike.

"How's the head?"

Ike grimaced at him, telling him what he needed to know.

"I guess you two can use all the rest you can get. I talked to the doctor and he says there no reason why we have to stay. You were lucky you didn't get a concussion, Ike - then we would have had to stay here for a week."

<So am I.> Ike signed.

"Why don't you two head back to the hotel and take a bath before you hit the beds. We'll start early in the morning. Jimmy, Noah, care for coffee?"

Jimmy wouldn't have minded going back with Ike and Lou, but thought better of it and nodded. Lou and Ike looked at each other and then Ike nodded their agreement as well. Jimmy couldn't help notice that Ike seemed to speak for both of them and he felt something heavy in his chest.

"Sounds OK with me," Noah said lightly. "By the way, what happened to your friend, what's his name?"

Lou and Ike rose and left them as Teaspoon started to tell what had happened to his gold digging friend. They slowly walked back to the hotel longing for a good night's rest without any worries and hopefully without any nightmares. Lou was in a way thankful for being allowed to leave the restaurant. It had been hard sitting there as if nothing had happened. And she longed for a bath. She needed to be clean even if she wondered if she'd ever feel clean again. She shivered as she looked down on the ground, kicking on loose stones as they walked. A nudge in her side made her look up.

<Cold?>

She shook her head. "Just tired," she said slowly.

Ike smiled at her. <Me too.>

They walked in silence for a few more minutes.

"Ike, Jimmy knows."

<Knows what?> Ike frowned.

"About me - what happened to me."

<No way.>

"I can see it on him - he saw it. That's why he's so upset."

<Jimmy's always upset.> Ike tried to joke.

"I don't know, but I get this feeling his angry with me - Ike, I don't want to go home."

Ike hugged her for a minute and then let go.

<Everything will be all right. Jimmy's probably upset because of something else, you'll see. Now we'll get a bath and a good night's sleep and then we'll go home. OK?>

"But if Jimmy saw it, then Kid will and ---" Lou silenced. "And I can't loose him," she whispered.

<So you've not really broken up?>

"Well, yes --- but I still love him, Ike. I'm not sure he feels the same, with Samantha and all, but I never stopped loving him. I just wasn't ready to get married." Lou sobbed silently.

<I think he loves you too.>

Lou bit her lip and smiled sadly.

"Well, you've always been an incurable romantic," she mumbled as they reached the hotel. They asked for baths, only to receive the answer that the hotel could only arrange for one bath at a time. Ike let Lou know that she could have a bath first and it was ordered to her room. Ike yawned as they walked up the stairs only to grimace a second later when the exercise caused his headache to return.

"You do need as you could use the rest," Lou bantered, in an effort to feel better.

<You just go ahead with your bath, so I can get to bed.> Ike retorted.

"Good night," Lou said hesitantly as they reached their rooms. Before Ike could reply she opened the door and quickly disappeared. As she closed the door behind her she felt the fear lurking. The walls of the room seemed to creep up on her, but she didn't dare to open a window. Not knowing what to do she slowly sat down on the bed, staring into the room as she fought the fear that threatened to take over. A knock on the door made her jump. At the second knock she slowly rose and walked to the door. Halfway there a voice sounded from the outside.

"Mister? Your bath."

Lou swallowed and opened the door. A sink tube was brought in, followed by four buckets of steaming water. The men skilfully filled the sink and then left with a "Good night." Lou closed and locked the door carefully after them. Then she retreated to the bed, looking at the steaming water. She longed to get into the bath, but something prevented her. As she looked around the room she saw out the window and almost subconsciously she walked up and covered it with the curtains as best as they let her. Then she walked back to the bed and with trembling fingers started to unbutton shirt. When she failed to unbutton the first for the third time the tears came. She hated to admit it but she was scared. Scared of being alone and naked in a room even if it was locked. She only had one solution. Quickly she left her room and crossed the hall. She knocked gently at the door opposite her. When there was no reply she almost panicked but calmed herself and knocked again. She thought it took an eternity before it opened and a sleepy Ike could be seen. He was dressed in trousers and undershirt and it was obvious that he had been asleep.

<Must have dozed off,> he signed and smiled at her. Then his smile faded. <What's wrong?>

Lou felt silly and blushed slightly.

<Can't what?>

"Can't you stay in my room? I seem to get the creeps just being in there alone and---" Lou bit her lip at Ike's expression. Ike shook his head.

<Can't do that Lou. That's not appropriate.> He frowned at her.

"Please, Ike? You can read a book or something - we can put up the screen. Nobody will know." Lou felt tears well up in her eyes. "Please?"

Ike sighed and walked out and closed the door.

"I'll do that." Lou looked at him as she felt as if a heavy stone had been lifted from her chest. "Thank you."

Ike waved his hand at her and followed over to her room. Lou was pleased when the water still was steaming. At least it hadn't turned cold. Ike helped her move the screen in an effort to separate the room. When that was done, Ike settled on the bed.

<Now don't forget to wake me up.> he signed before she disappeared behind the screen.

"I won't."

This time Lou managed better with the undressing. She winced as she touched the tender bruises on her body and she had a feeling she would feel them for a long time. In the mirror on the wall she saw the red mark after the rope, a mark she so far had managed to hide from the others by keeping the collar on her shirt up, something she might do because of the cold. She recoiled at the memory as she touched the sore skin. She wouldn't be able to hide it until it disappeared and there were bound to be questions. Slowly she removed the rest of her clothes. Just before she was to step into the bath she stuck her head round the screen. Ike looked up and looked questionably at her.

"Just checking you're still here," she said foolishly and returned. Ike's fist knocked on the wall to acknowledge his presence and with a sigh of relief she stepped into the bath and reached for the soap. It was when she used it she saw the bruises on her thighs. Marks after hands, hard and violent hands. She thought she was going to be sick, but managed to ignore them. Her whole body trembled as the memory of what had happened returned to her with renewed force. She buried her face in her hands in an effort to keep from sobbing. She wouldn't let this destroy her, she wouldn't. After a few minutes she begun to breathe normally again.

"Ike?"

Two knocks on the wall answered her.

"Just checking," she replied, hoping that he wouldn't notice the trembling in her voice.

She quickly finished her bath and after she had dried herself on the towel, she quickly got back into her clothes and emerged from behind the screen.

Ike looked up at her appearance.

"Thanks, Ike. I guess we can tell the reception to get your bath now."

Ike looked at her, indicating time.

"Well, I guess I'm more tired than I needed the bath," Lou said hoping that he couldn't hear her lie. Her short time in the bath had more to do with bad memories than tiredness.

<Water still warm?>

"Why? Yes, I believe it is." Lou looked bewildered at him.

<Do you mind if I use it? I'm too tired to wait.>

"But the water is dirty."

Ike frowned and shrugged. Seeing the tired look on his face, Lou gave in. Actually she didn't mind at all, since it meant company for a few more minutes. She still dreaded being alone.

"It's all yours."

<Thank you.> Ike disappeared behind the screen and a few minutes later a splashing sound told Lou he was in the bath. Lou lay on the bed, thinking about going home. If Ike were right, nothing would be different and she and Kid could continue trying to find a way back to where they had been. At least she thought that it was what they had been doing when they had started on this mission. Since Kid broke up with Samantha he had been friendlier to her and sometimes she could have sworn that he was flirting with her. She wanted that back, but she wasn't sure how to get it back. She wished Ike was right, but she feared he was wrong. Somewhere that was a voice inside her that told her that Ike was right, that Kid loved her no matter what, but she feared to believe it. Disappointment and rejected could hurt more than anything else. She if anybody knew this. It was a pain that could kill you, destroy you. She was so deep in her thoughts that she hardly noticed that Ike stood by the door, ready to leave. At his knock, she sat up staring at him.

<I'm leaving now. I'll leave a note to the clerk that we don't need any more help and that they can get the bath tomorrow morning. Are you OK now, Lou?>

"Yes, I'll be fine. Good night."

<Good night.>

Lou walked up and locked the door after him and then she was alone again.

Ike yawned as he stumbled into bed. His headache had come back although it was not as bad as it had been and his whole body felt battered and bruised. He tenderly touched a large bruise on his chest, grimacing at the tenderness. He was lucky he was so tired that he would sleep despite the bruises. He had a hard time keeping his eyes open. It was with a sigh of relief that he pulled the covers over his head. But he couldn't sleep. The thoughts that had started as he waited for Lou to finish her bath came back. He knew he shouldn't have let her convince him to stay with her. He didn't help her that way. She needed to heal on her own, or she'd become more dependent. But he knew why he had said OK. It was his fault. Not that Lou blamed him for anything, she was too busy blaming herself. No, Ike blamed himself as he had done ever since he failed to kill Garrett. He could have killed him in the cave as the man was knocked unconscious by Lou and he might have had a chance when they ran into him again. But he hadn't. Instead the man had abused Lou, and Lou was the one forced to kill him. Ike would have done anything to take away that burden from her. But because he couldn't kill Garrett, Lou had suffered. Suffered more than he probably understood. If she'd been with Kid or Jimmy, or any of the others, she'd have been fine. Unfortunately she'd been with him. And he had let her down. If he hadn't been so indecisive, Lou would not need him to comfort him, she wouldn't be afraid of meeting the others, especially the Kid. And he still did things wrong. He should be supporting her, but instead he let her lean on him. What if she remained the way she was right now? She wouldn't be able to make runs and that meant she would loose her job. And what if Kid stopped caring for her? He couldn't do that, could he? Lou loved him. But even so Ike knew that her love wasn't enough. If Kid stopped loving her---. He dreaded the thought. Ike sighed and tried to get back to sleep, but the questions kept coming. There were too many ifs and what and that scared him. Should he tell Kid about what had happened? Lou had told him not to, but maybe it was better for Lou if he did? What if it only made things worse? All he wanted was to take away the pain and fear that he saw in her eyes. If he failed he would be blaming himself for the rest of his life for robbing her of the life in her eyes. He knew he had told her that it wasn't her fault, that the only one to blame was Garrett and he knew that the same was for him. He couldn't have done anything else. He wasn't Jimmy or Kid. He was Ike. Maybe he would always loose to the Garretts of this world, he pondered tired. I need to talk to Buck, he thought halfway into sleep. Buck knew him better than anyone else and he could tell him what to do. He trusted his friend to do that. Closing his eyes he finally welcomed the sleep. He had barely closed his eyes when he thought he heard a knock on the door. He turned around in the bed thinking he had been dreaming, when it was repeated, this time with more urgency.

Teaspoon finished his coffee and rose unsteadily to his feet. As both Jimmy and Noah rushed to his side, he laughed lightly at them.

"Take it easy boys, I'm just a bit stiff after sitting for so long. I'm OK."

"You're sure you're up to the ride home, Teaspoon?" Noah asked. "That's an awful lot of sitting."

"Sitting and riding are two different things," Teaspoon corrected him. "Something you might learn someday," he added jokingly.

"Now sit boys, while I settle this bill." Teaspoon walked over to the bar as Jimmy and Noah sat down to wait for him. The voices from the counter told them that the waiter wasn't please that his attempt to "spice up" the bill had been discovered. Noah smiled lightly at Jimmy.

"Sometimes I think Teaspoon actually look forward to these disputes," he said with a smile.

"Maybe that's always why he wins them," Jimmy muttered.

"What's with you?" Noah wondered. "You look as if sold everything and lost the money."

Jimmy leaned forward. "Noah, have you noticed anything - different?"

"Different - what?"

"With Lou - and Ike."

Noah shook his head. "No, can't say I have. What are you aiming at?"

"I don't know." Jimmy returned to his original position. "You're sure there's nothing?"

"Not anything apart from them being a bit upset, but after what they've been through? Who can blame them?"

Jimmy shook his head slowly.

"What you're saying?" Noah asked and frowned at him. "Is there something else that make you ask?"

At that point a smiling Teaspoon reappeared and Jimmy waved away Noah's question.

"No, you're right, Noah. They're probably just tired."

"Well, gentlemen, so am I. How about getting back to the hotel? Ike and Lou are surely sound asleep by now." Teaspoon placed his hands on their shoulders and they both rose.

As they walked back to the hotel, Jimmy excised himself as they reached the stables.

"I'm just gonna see to the horses," he explained. Teaspoon nodded.

"All right, but don't be late. We've got an early start tomorrow."

"I'll be quick about it," Jimmy promised. He quickly disappeared into the stable, not only because he wanted to see to the horses, but also because he needed to think. When he left fifteen minutes later he was still thinking and far from any solutions to his questions. Morosely he headed towards the hotel, which was situated at the bottom of a small hill from the stable. As he walked there, deep in his own thoughts, he suddenly happened to look up at the hotel. From his elevated position he realised that he could see into the rooms of the hotel and he smiled sadly when the lights went out in one of the rooms. Teaspoon had gone to sleep. All the other rooms were dark and he thought with envy that Teaspoon was right. The others were sound asleep. He continued to stroll down the hill when a light caught his eye.

So Ike couldn't sleep, he thought when he saw a person move in the room. When Ike went to the door, Jimmy stopped and frowned. Visitors at this time in the evening?

Ike rubbed the sleep out of his eye and rolled out of bed. Still dazed from being awakened he walked up to the door and opened. To his surprise Lou stood outside with tears in her eyes.

"I can't do it, Ike," she mumbled. "I can't be in the room alone - I feel as if the walls a creeping in on me and that I won't get out."

Ike signed to her to get in. Closing the door behind her he turned to watch her.

<What's wrong, Lou?>

Lou wiped her eyes from the tears that threatened to run down her cheeks. "I don't know."

<You can't stay here, Lou.> Ike tried to be firm. <There's nobody that can harm you. Jimmy, Noah, Teaspoon and me are in the rooms right next to you. Nothing will happen.>

"I know that - but I can't feel it!" Lou sobbed silently. "Don't you think I want to feel that? I want to feel secure, but I can't Ike! I can't!" Lou hid her face in her hands and Ike's heart break. He had caused this. He knew it in his soul and tears run down his cheeks as he embraced her.

"Let me stay here, Ike", Lou sobbed. "I can use one blanket, just as we did in the cabin---"

Ike gently pushed Lou away and shook his head. This was different than the cabin. There was no need to share because of the cold or because there was only one bed.

"Ike? You said you were like a brother to me - a brother would do this."

Lou knew she wasn't fair to Ike, but she was more scared of being alone than ashamed that she used him. Ike closed his eyes and shook his head again, but he already knew he had lost. Because he blamed himself for what had happened to Lou, he would let her stay. He looked up again and nodded slowly. Lou hugged him again.

"Thanks, Ike."